Today’s post is a deeper dive into my mindset throughout the years as I crafted this big dream for myself. The tone is a bit more somber than other posts, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

I am in the mode of wanting to reflect on how we got here because it still feels surreal at times. Looking back after a major life shift is a helpful way to understand where were are going. I truly want to live as true to myself as possible, and instead of leaning into the feelings of “what did we get ourselves into!?!” I want to take pride in our accomplishments and use that as confirmation that we can achieve anything on this journey.

Before 2020, I had never up and moved permanently anywhere in my life. I had lived away from my family a handful of times, but always with the intention to return home to Austin.

Even still, I thought about living in new cities across the US and ultimately overseas. There was a time I wrote this as a bucket list item in high school for a project. We also had to pass our list around for “encouragement” from the rest of the class. When I got my list back, someone had written “never gonna happen” next to the bullet-point “Live in Brazil and work in India.”

True, the feasibility of said dream requires a lengthy commute, but within 10 years of writing that down, I ended up doing both of those things.

All that to say is that when it came to plans for my life and where I would live, I have always made what seemed like outlandish goals that somehow have ended up working out.

As mentioned before, I lived in one place for the first 30 years of my life. If you ask me where I am from originally, I will defiantly claim New Orleans and Austin as I was born in Louisiana but raised in ATX proper since 1992ish. We would bounce back between the two at least monthly so both placed raised me.

Growing up, my life was confined to the typical social bubbles: close and extended family, friends’ neighborhoods, school, and the local strip mall. And I was blessed with 2 sets of grandparents that loved to explore and took me on trips with them in summer that spanned every continental US state.

Around four years old was the first time I ever went on one of these summer vacations, but it wasn’t until I was eight that I fully conceptualized that the world was full of different environments and cultures. In 2nd grade, we had this huge atlas book that I would regularly check out. Compliments to the artist who drew the map of the world on page 12 because it for sure changed my life. 

The flourishing of the Amazon rainforest: home to the largest flower on earth and the cutest (and most poisonous) tree frogs in the world. The bold jewel-toned saris and intricate architecture of India. I saw all the different people and cultures depicted, and all I could think about was one day being connected to, and learning from, each and every one of them.

I travelled overseas for the first time at 17. My determination seemed to be fueled by desperation. I was in a deep depression at the time, and there was a point where I would either see how I could fare traveling on my own, or perish. I wrote a 32-page paper for my parents presenting the benefits, budget, and my repayment plan of a 1-week service learning trip to Guatemala for that summer. Through my persuasion – or my mom’s nudging – I was allowed to go!

That 7-day trip still shapes how I view the world. I still remember the children we helped, the ancient ruins and rural communities we visited, and the overall impact we left as foreigners in a more remote community.

The Guatemala experience informed the majors I studied in college and also encouraged me to apply for opportunities to study in India and Brazil. These experiences were further reassurances that I not only love to be abroad, but I could make it out of the United States for at least a few months at a time.

I first started researching a real international relocation in 2016 before the election, but would always get discouraged. The paperwork seemed too hard. There were too many hoops to jump through. Especially when it came to the job piece, how in the world could I apply for a job overseas and earn a visa? I persisted, but it always seemed impossible.

After the 2016 election, I was ready to GTFO. But 24 hours later, I had asked the universe to show me if people were good, and it did in a big way.

I was cry-singing “One Last Time” from Hamilton in my car when it broke down in the middle of a one-way lane in downtown Austin during rush hour. Immediately, no less than 5 people helped get me off the road safely, get a tow, and a ride home. This gave me the reassurance I needed: despite what was happening with politics, my community was still good and wanted me in it.

Based on my degree, I was grateful enough find jobs that involved international travel. While it has always been a fun perk, I take learning about the local culture as seriously as I do my career. And now I have “found families” all over the world. This international community building may have also contributed to why I feel better overseas.

When Graham and I met for our first date, I made it clear I was interested in living abroad from the start. It was not the biggest surprise because I had made the same statement on my dating profile. Also, we first started talking when I was working in Nepal so…the clues were there. <3

We went to Scotland to test how we travel together. And except for me driving us into a ditch (!) on the Isle of Skye, it was a very fun and insightful trip. We both fell in love with the foggy countryside, and I fell in love with the infamous haggis. The sheep farm we stayed at only solidified that we both dreamed of something more.

We had planned to have one international trip a year to explore other places we would one day live. Then 2020 happened. It wasn’t until 2023 that we were able to safely travel to Costa Rica to continue our adventures.

We started talking more about the move abroad after that. But as someone with ADHD, I still had so many other plans and ideas I was still considering. So we looked at other cities in the US, looking at buying land and starting a small homestead.

See? All over the place, but all still very real passions I have.

I finally added “move abroad” to the 2023 dream board, thinking it was way too early in my life to start manifesting it to come true. Even when talking with Graham, it seemed impossible, but I kept operating as if it were inevitable that we would make it real one day.

In the meantime, Colorado was a bust, so we planned a move to Chicago. Even at that time,  I was still thinking about moving again in the next 1-2 years to some other US city to try one of the many ideas we had floating around. It was great to be close to family and experience the biggest city I had ever lived in, but it never felt like a permanent fit for us.

The final straw came when I witnessed an incident on our front doorstep that had us re-evaluate everything, and it negatively impacted my view on the country.

There are no words to express that day and the days after. What made the situation even worse was the lack of community support from neighbors, especially for the mother who was in mourning. The community did not show up as you would want. There was more interest in speaking poorly about the boys who were involved than in providing care and assistance to the family that had lost a child. For everything I felt like I did not like about the US, the complete lack of empathy when someone needed it the most was something I could not get over.

I felt like I needed to choose between living in fear or just pretending problems did not exist. So I decided that the level of trauma I, as a black American female, have endured and am expected to continue to endure is more than I am willing to live with any longer.

After that, it took a full year with on-and-off planning, making sure intentions were appropriate and not reacting out of fear to align on moving overseas. Finally picked a date and worked towards it.

We researched countries, reviewed finances, and told families. It all simultaneously seemed to take forever and feel like a speed run of life changes. In June of 2025, I quit my job, and by the end of the month, we were at the beginning stages of starting our new life abroad.

Even with wanting to do the move for so long, it has still felt terrifying a lot of the time. We are still on the journey of getting to the ultimate place we want to be to feel settled.

In the meantime, we will continue to feel proud of what we accomplished and hope that with gratitude and patience, we will discover all that life has to unfold for us.