It is officially one of the hottest days we have experienced in the Netherlands, and boy is it a different heat than anywhere that I have experienced. Being from the south, I wouldn’t dare compare it to the Texas heat, but with all the humidity, more time spent outside, and no AC, the heat is zapping my energy for the day.

Even still, I want to share some learnings from the experiences we have had so far. I imagine what we experienced isn’t too different than moving to any other country for the first time, so I hope this helps to prepare anyone planning on moving abroad soon.

Everything will take longer

Mail actually moves quite fast in the country, but that is about it. Not only does overall transportation take a little longer than expected, needing to take multiple forms of transportation to get from point A to point B, but the actual tasks seem to take much longer than expected. Even with my time blindness, it seems like simple things have a bit more red tape than expected.

On the one hand, I like that the culture is slower paced, but when I am still weaning off of the overproductivity American mindset, it can sometimes feel overwhelming to not get everything done in a day. With that said, it is a good problem to have that in general we need to remind ourselves to be at peace with moving slower. 

You will be very tired, more than usual

Even on days that are not too hot, if I am not making sure to stay hydrated and get a good night’s sleep, the day will quickly become tiring. I am hoping it is because all of the physical work we do and the mental load of knowing everything we still need to do to feel fully set up. 

Our transportation is our own two feet for most of our errands, and we still try to get in some additional exercise each wee,k so the increase in strenuous activities is going to take some getting used to. 

Also, moving in the late spring means we are here when the sun sets after 9:30 pm and rises between 4-5 am. 

I feel that as our schedules become more regular and less packed, we will slowly balance out of energy expenditure on all fronts and feel more well-rested overall.

You have the support of loved ones

It can be hard for me to ask for help and support, particularly when I need it most. But I can name at least 10 people on the spot that I can call to lend an ear or ask for advice. Even building community in the country quickly, or before you arrive, can be so helpful to talk with other people who may be experiencing or have experienced the same things as you.

Before moving, we were sure to spend time building connections with local organizations and other American immigrants on Facebook groups, which has made the transition smoother, especially in these first few weeks, we have several questions for the most basic tasks. 

Staying close with family back home will make you feel much less alone. Even if you are on the path of making local friends, there can still be that loss of the familiar that can quickly turn to homesickness. We have found that having regular group or one-on-one calls is very helpful to hear words of encouragement and just a general check-in with those you love most.

It may not feel like a fairy tale

One of the first things friends and family want to talk about after the move is how great everything is. 

There are a number of challenges and obstacles to overcome before feeling fully settled overseas, let alone making it feel like a fairy tale. No matter where you land, there will always be challenges.

This can make things difficult when you want to have your typical conversations and include some gripes here and there. Some may want to live vicariously through your life and your new experience, while you may want to vent about how you had to spend the whole day trying to find a broom that does not exist in the whole country. 

This isn’t to say to expect everything to be hard and find it a magical experience. There are incredible moments that happen every day that I am excited to share with others, just like when we were stateside. It is all about perspective and remembering that the experience will bring a mix of highs and lows. 

You will get lost

Even the most seasoned travellers may have a hard time finding their way. Especially in the Netherlands, where the street signs can be hard to see, and sometimes the buttons on the bus don’t work, so you miss a stop.

We can get around pretty well, but there are days when the fatigue and overwhelm get to us, and we find ourselves on the wrong bus or taking a bike route a few kilometers before realizing we need to double back. 

If you have been brought up with public transportation all of your life, it may be easier to adjust, but be sure to have your wits about you at least for the first few months.

You will feel embarrassed

I would say this is one of the biggest lessons we have learning during this whole process. Despite writing quite a bit about my life here, I tend not to want to be seen or perceived too much by others, especially strangers.

I fell with my suitcase in front of a bunch of people on day one and wanted to run right back to the flight! My Dutch isn’t good enough to carry on a long conversation, and I often stumble on words even when I have practiced the sentence 100 times. I have used the wrong card to check in on the bus or the wrong currency altogether to buy something.

It is all a part of the process of both learning a new place and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.

You can embrace the community

I am sure I have mentioned this before, but we have been so surprised and grateful for all of the support and sense of community we feel already from the Dutch. While we have not made any Dutch friends yet, there have been many times we have received unsolicited advice or support from neighbors, and it makes a difference.

Coming from spaces that I desperately wanted to receive that type of support from the community, to receive it so quickly without feeling like I need to earn it makes me feel like we have landed in the right place.

You will not have everything figured out

Like, even the things you thought you would have figured out, you won’t.

This was a hard lesson for me because I am a big planner. The act of planning calms me down and makes me feel like I have control in a situation. But even with things like visa processes that have clear directions, you still might mess up, and that is okay.

You have been completely uprooted from your comfort zone and what you know, so it is perfectly normal not to have everything figured out in just a few weeks. Having the courage to fumble through it is all you need, and over time, many new things will become second nature.

Give yourself all of the grace

This goes hand in hand with being okay with having embarrassing moments. This time is going to be filled is countless new experiences that need to be embraced.

Every day is full of something new to learn about the culture or yourself. Remembering what you have already accomplished and what you are capable of will make a world of a difference for your mindset, especially on the hard days.

You will have lots of emotions

The excitement, impending crash out, homesickness, and relief are just some of the feelings you can cycle through within a single day, which can be mentally exhausting.

Finding time to relax and enjoy the journey, even at the beginning, is very important. I am someone who wants to get all the important stuff done first, then bask in the accomplishment. 

The challenge this presents is that I can quickly burn out. So finding small milestones to celebrate at least once a week will become very helpful, especially on the days when you are getting the run-around to complete a simple task.

It is all a part of the learning zone

Overall, this first month has been such an eye-opening experience, and every day I am so grateful I have the opportunity to live it.

Sure, I am already missing some of my favorite foods (even just home-cooked rice), but I am embracing the change and discovering new things about myself, life, and the Netherlands to love. I am very much looking forward to this next month, and if this was helpful, I may write another month in review. Let me know in the comments what surprised you the most, and if this was helpful!

Tot ziens!